For some lighter reading than my normally intense posts, I asked some well-known people for their opinions on this profound question: is the glass half-empty or half-full? As they were all much too busy to answer my question in person I had to make up their answers myself.
Donald Trump: There’s no water in that glass. It’s all fake news.
Al Gore: Unless you agree with me that the glass is empty you are a denier.
United Nations Panel on Climate Change: Our scientists say with absolute confidence that climate change will cause the water in the glass to boil by 2100.
Greta Thunberg: Your house is on fire and all you have to put it out with is half a glass of water? How dare you!
Oil Industry Spokesperson: The water looks clean to me.
Greenpeace: Let’s organize street demonstrations and protest strikes until the glass is entirely filled.
WWF: Don’t worry, we will tell Trudeau to make it subject to our new environmental assessment law, for 10 years of hearings.
The Guardian: We will not stay silent on this issue.
David Suzuki: We are going to sponsor a constitutional lawsuit to obtain a judicial determination of the question.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau: I drank the rest of the water in the glass, but I only did it to save Canadian jobs.
Environment and Climate Change Minister Catherine McKenna: The water in that glass is subject to our new “hydrogen tax” based on the polluter pay principle.
Former Attorney-General Jody Wilson-Raybould: I’ll drink the water, but I refuse to drink the Kool-Aid.
Conservative Party Leader Andrew Scheer: If it votes Tory, what do I care how much water is in it?
NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh: If the water in that glass came from a wealthy tap it will have to pay wealth tax.
Green Party Leader Elizabeth May: If the water isn’t green I’m not drinking it.
Conrad Black: The aqueous liquid in that non-crystalline, transparent amorphous solid occupies precisely half of its volumetric content.
And now for something completely different…….
Pessimists tell us the glass is half empty. Optimists tell us the glass is half full. This country boy knows that the glass is just too @#$%^&* big!
Ha! Ha! Well done!
Bloody brilliant! Especially Lord Black!
Who knew you were such a joker … nice change of pace!! Best from rainy zany PEI Mike
The IT specialist: Did you try emptying and refilling the glass?
Will have to reboot it.
Brilliant! Keep it coming Andrew. Thank God there is at least one sane critical thinker left in the world with a sense of humour who is prepared to dedicate a great deal of time reasoning through and helping us reason through all the BS.